Author Archives: D

Should I Delete My Porn?

So you have enough CDs and DVDs to hold up your coffee table, or enough downloads to warrant buying several new disk drives. You’ve spent hundreds of hours collecting it and hundreds of dollars purchasing it, some videos dating back to before your children were born.

But, you’ve decided to go porn free, no more looking back. You have begun to Continue reading

Female Faces and Smiling Faces

One thing that has been a sure craving buster for me since the very beginning is the power of a smiling face and female faces. For me and others in recovery, they can transform our feelings of lust and cravings into admiration, love, compassion, and caring. It’s been known to advertisers for a long time that a smiling face sells almost anything. That the Mona Lisa’s popularity is credited largely to her smile. And that generally people with a great smile radiate a warmth that draws others to them naturally. It’s also interesting to note that Continue reading

Red Riding Hood

Alone in the woods, Red Riding Hood walks the path.
In the distance, two eyes gleam in the darkness, the wolf is near.
Be innocent.
It’s OK to travel here, all the while aware of the wolf, and all its tricks.
Be understanding.
Like a ghost or shadow, I know you are there, and I accept you for what you are.
Be wise.
Goodnight sweet Riding Hood, goodnight sweet wolf.

ImageImage: Little Red Riding Hood by Cathy Delanssay.

A poem about addiction by me.

Dealing with Shame after Relapse

stone_small“Look, you relapsed again, you are so bad at this! You might as well just give up, you are worthless. You can never do anything right.”

It happens to all of us, if you are in the process of recovery, you will inevitably experience a relapse. It is actually more likely you will relapse again, and less likely you correct the addictive habits, if you are constantly berating yourself with shame. In Buddhist psychology the major cause of Continue reading

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT for short) is another method where we become more mindful of our negative emotions and thoughts, take a very in-depth analysis, and then come to an alternative conclusion that is against the original negative emotions and thoughts.

This work sheet is just a small part of an over-all CBT therapy, but still very effect on it’s own. This can be done alone, or with the help of a trusted friend or therapist. Here is an example CBT worksheet filled in for you. Continue reading

Identifying Triggers

weak linkMindfulness and compassion are the keys to breaking the chains of our habitual and addictive patterns. Mindfulness simply means being consciously aware of something in your present moment experience, may they be thoughts, emotions, sounds, or images. Compassion means fully understanding what makes us suffer and choosing the best decision to reduce our suffering, may that be self-forgiveness, acceptance, or

Continue reading

Welcome!

Take a deep breath. Feel. What you are feeling in this moment will always be OK. Know that pain is always an acceptable part of life. We cannot have the beautiful flower without the mud.