Loving-kindness meditation is the art of awakening the heart through intentions of goodwill and compassion, practiced for thousands of years by various Buddhist traditions. Today, modern science is now verifying it’s amazing ability for radical, positive transformation and healing. It will lead us to a deeper understanding of the causes of suffering and the causes of peace and contentment in our life. Leading us naturally to take up care and drop violence in our thoughts, speech, and actions.
So, what does all this have to do with porn addiction? Continue Reading
Sometimes we must face tremendous pain.
The pain of not knowing, of aloneness, of finality.
When we run from that pain, it looms ever larger.
And, fighting fear with fear, we doom ourselves to war.
But when we embrace that pain, it fades to nothing.
And we can move forward, unafraid and curious.
Happy Holidays everyone! 🙂
Q: What is the opposite of a porn habit?
A: To me, it’s creative energy and intimacy.
Porn is fake intimacy, and we all crave intimacy. Life without porn mean you find more natural sources of intimacy, like with real people. Intimacy can be comradery, friendship, family, love, trust, respect, joy.
Creative energy comes to us when we gain our sensitivity to life back. We do hobbies, sports, crafts, tinkering. With porn we feel dead, no energy to be creative or do much of anything.
Combine creative energy and intimacy and you get things like community, fundraisers to help people in need, collective art projects, running workshops for free, and other creative ways to help uplift your community.
These are things I have experienced from quitting porn.
Neuroscientist Kelly McGonigal speaks about her book “The WillPower Instinct” and describes the importance of supercharging your prefrontal cortex as a means to better decision making. This video is packed full of amazing scientifically researched and study based tools to help overcome addiction and achieve goals by strengthening this part of the brain. Her approach is based on mindfulness, acceptance, and forgiveness, and I wholly indorse her methods.
Some of the methods she prescribes are similar to the Identifying Triggers tool, and the Equanimity Meditation. I hope you try them out!
Hi everyone. I’m going to start making a series of posts based off my Identifying Triggers tool, each post will show the process I go through to identify, explore, and debunk a new ‘Trigger’. A trigger is any thought, feeling, image, or memory that causes you to want to look at porn. This tool is based off a behavior modification technique called cognitive behavioral therapy, and is a very powerful means to transform our addiction in a mindful and compassionate way. I hope this will be helpful for you. 🙂
This week: Happiness without porn?
Picture this: You’ve been addicted for decades. You use porn as your main outlet for intimacy and a pacifying mother in times of stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, anger, and general dissatisfaction with life. Always accompanied by a tendency towards isolation. Your emotional stability has become dependent upon porn, influencing your hobbies, habits, and attitudes. Now imagine someone took that away from you, your precious dependency, you would be left a thousand feet in the air with nothing under your feet. This is what happens when we begin the process of recovery. Recovery is not just the absence of porn, it’s also the beginning of a new and healthier life, a New You. Continue Reading
“The Secret of change is to focus all of your energy,
not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
This quote is extremely simply, yet addresses a wide range of issues relating to habit and addiction. I’ve interpreted it into two related teachings, ‘not fighting the old’ and ‘building the new.’ Continue Reading