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Welcome!

Take a deep breath. Feel. What you are feeling in this moment will always be OK. Know that pain is always an acceptable part of life. We cannot have the beautiful flower without the mud.

The Porn Scale

Harm reduction is an important and often overlooked component of addiction recovery. With porn addiction it’s pretty simple usually, you either look at porn or you don’t. But I believe that even within active porn addiction, the principles of harm reduction can be applied. The principles of harm reduction that I’m referring to here have to do with reducing the harm that porn inflicts while in active usage, while the relapse is actually happening and you’re watching porn.

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You know you have to stop

You know you have to stop. That’s the one thing we can all agree on, it’s the one thing we all cannot deny… You know you have to stop…

You don’t know what’s going to happen next, you don’t know how your life will change, you can’t predict the future. But the one thing you know for certain, whatever this thing is, using porn, is killing you. It’s killing you, slowly, bit by bit, PMO by PMO. In every session you die, over years of your life. And you know that you need to stop. You know it.

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400 Days Porn Free & Discord Server!

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I posted but I wanted to share that I’m currently over a year free from porn! And that I’ve still been active in other avenues such as Discord.

I’ve been helping run and now admin a Discord server called Porn Free for over 2 years now. You can come join us here! https://discord.gg/KBhmwEk

Porn Free Discord server!

We are an inclusive and LGBT friendly group dedicated to supporting each other in our journey to become porn free!

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What’s it like living with a “porn addiction”? Lonely, according to the results of my research.

A poignant and shaking new research project on porn addiction uncovers what we already suspected.

“It took away my ability to process the world with any emotion. My porn use put me into a state of emotional and social withdrawal in almost every aspect of my life, and because of that, I suffered significantly socially, romantically and academically. I lost many years of my development because I could not feel any pleasure and I could not make sense of the world – my mind was in a state of constant turmoil.”

Truth Joy Beauty

Exploring the Lived Experience of Problematic Users of Internet Pornography– A Qualitative Study is a research project I conducted as part of the requirements for the Master of Counselling & Psychotherapy course I have recently (finally) completed. While it’s soon to be published in the peer reviewed journal Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, published by Taylor & Francis, in this post I reflect on what it was like to research this topic and I share some of the responses I received which highlight, to me, the seriousness of this emerging problem. I will post a link to the peer reviewed article here soon as it is published but I have uploaded a preprint version to Research Gate which I have linked to above.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In 2019 I completed the last few subjects of a Master of Counselling & Psychotherapy course I had started in 2016…

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6 Year Check-In

time_flies_by_janussyndicateIt’s been 6 years since I embarked on my journey towards the unknown freedom that I so desperately needed. I rediscovered many long lost treasures, and uncovered many unexpected hurdles and blessings. If I was to imagine what my life would be like now, I don’t think I would have believed it. How I’ve grown as a person and how my life has been enriched by slowly abandoning the Continue reading

Healing and Withdrawal

h0001          The majority of the articles, tools, and meditations on this site have focused on finding better habit patterns for transforming our addictive behaviors. These are all important things, but something I have waited a long time to write about is healing and withdrawal, mainly because Continue reading

The 3 Circles Method

3 circlesThe 3 Circles method is used in SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) to help create boundaries around unhealthy behaviours. In food addiction, you need to address any habits that cause harm to yourself, but stopping all eating won’t be the solution. Similarly with sex and porn addiction, the solution is not to close yourself off from your own sexuality, but to help identify unhealthy behaviors. We are sexual beings Continue reading