It’s been 6 years since I embarked on my journey towards the unknown freedom that I so desperately needed. I rediscovered many long lost treasures, and uncovered many unexpected hurdles and blessings. If I was to imagine what my life would be like now, I don’t think I would have believed it. How I’ve grown as a person and how my life has been enriched by slowly abandoning the Continue reading
The majority of the articles, tools, and meditations on this site have focused on finding better habit patterns for transforming our addictive behaviors. These are all important things, but something I have waited a long time to write about is healing and withdrawal, mainly because Continue reading
The 3 Circles method is used in SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) to help create boundaries around unhealthy behaviours. In food addiction, you need to address any habits that cause harm to yourself, but stopping all eating won’t be the solution. Similarly with sex and porn addiction, the solution is not to close yourself off from your own sexuality, but to help identify unhealthy behaviors. We are sexual beings Continue reading
Although I try to give as much advice and wisdom as I can here on Building The New, it is only a supplementary support. If you are having serious difficulties in life due to addictive behaviours you need to seek out a licensed Sex Therapist, Support Group, or consult a Doctor.
I’ve been a follower of Teal Swan for over a year now and I really enjoy her videos. She has a deep insight into the nature of human suffering and how to heal our emotional scars. This video is a great explanation of Pornography addiction, what it is and is not, and ways to heal from it.
Swan echos many of the insights on my blog, such as being mindful of triggers, meditation, reintegration of painful feelings, and seeking new ways to use your creative energy.
Is Mindfulness an Emerging Treatment for Addiction?
A great article on the benefits of mindfulness practices and daily living to address addictions.
“For example, a person in our smoking program commented, “Mindful smoking: smells like stinky cheese and tastes like chemicals. YUCK!” She noticed that smoking wasn’t as great as she might have convinced herself previously. And this is the beginning of the end – we start to get disenchanted with what we were doing – just by paying careful attention. ”
A great audio interview over at NPR with neuroscientist David Linden. In it David talks about his new book Compass Of Pleasure, detailing the brain on a neurochemical level when we interact with addictive substances and behaviors. One of the most interesting things I took home from this interview was how his findings point to STRESS as a major contributor to sudden increases in cravings for the addictive substance or behavior.
‘Compass Of Pleasure’: Why Some Things Feel So Good [NPR]
While most people are able to achieve a certain degree of pleasure with only moderate indulgence, those with blunted dopamine systems are driven to overdo it.
“Any one of us could be an addict at any time,” Linden says. “Addiction is not fundamentally a moral failing — it’s not a disease of weak-willed losers.
Picture this: You’ve been addicted for decades. You use porn as your main outlet for intimacy and a pacifying mother in times of stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, anger, and general dissatisfaction with life. Always accompanied by a tendency towards isolation. Your emotional stability has become dependent upon porn, influencing your hobbies, habits, and attitudes. Now imagine someone took that away from you, your precious dependency, you would be left a thousand feet in the air with nothing under your feet. This is what happens when we begin the process of recovery. Recovery is not just the absence of porn, it’s also the beginning of a new and healthier life, a New You. Continue reading
So you have enough CDs and DVDs to hold up your coffee table, or enough downloads to warrant buying several new disk drives. You’ve spent hundreds of hours collecting it and hundreds of dollars purchasing it, some videos dating back to before your children were born.
But, you’ve decided to go porn free, no more looking back. You have begun to Continue reading