Take a deep breath. Feel. What you are feeling in this moment will always be OK. Know that pain is always an acceptable part of life. We cannot have the beautiful flower without the mud.
Many people ask me, if porn is unhealthy for me but I still want to masturbate every now and then without hindering my recovery, how can I do this? Masturbation without porn or fantasy and in moderation can be a healthy activity and a part of a healthy life style. But this is not for everyone, if you have Erectile Dysfunction caused by porn, a religious tenant against it, or if you simple enjoy the experience of abstinence, then by all means stay masturbation free! :)
With compulsive porn abusers it’s clear that porn is the real issue, which leads to excessive masturbation. But without the porn around to over stimulate the brain, it’s clear that many people don’t masturbate even half as much. We have been pleasuring ourselves for a long, long time before porn came around, and with the proper moderation it can be a helpful tool to balance our lives. In general, those who are just starting the recovery process may have a more difficulty engaging in this practice. Don’t worry, after a few weeks or a month of removing porn from your life you will find becoming aroused much easier. Continue Reading
A great audio interview over at NPR with neuroscientist David Linden. In it David talks about his new book Compass Of Pleasure, detailing the brain on a neurochemical level when we interact with addictive substances and behaviors. One of the most interesting things I took home from this interview was how his findings point to STRESS as a major contributor to sudden increases in cravings for the addictive substance or behavior.
While most people are able to achieve a certain degree of pleasure with only moderate indulgence, those with blunted dopamine systems are driven to overdo it.
“Any one of us could be an addict at any time,” Linden says. “Addiction is not fundamentally a moral failing — it’s not a disease of weak-willed losers.
Hi everyone! I just wanted to share this amazing Reddit Gold caliber article, a harrowing self account of misery to freedom from one man who has passed the 2 year mark of life without porn. It is touching and informative, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
“I was 34 years old when I decided to quit, after having done porn pretty continuously, and increasingly, from the age of 13 when I found my Dad’s magazines in his bedside drawer. By the time I decided to quit, I was married (unhappily – though I wasn’t totally conscious of that fact), and had a two-year-old daughter. I was a software engineering manager making a bunch of money, I had a big house in a posh neighborhood. I had all the outward signs of success…. (click here)“
A very inspiring and wisdom filled piece by Joe Rogan. One way we can begin to learn the art of embracing reality, is through Mindfulness Meditation. I strongly suggest anyone on this path of recovery to dedicate 10 to 20 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation every day. It will help us come back to our true home, the here and now.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift.”
This meditation is similar to the Loving-Kindness Meditation except that it focuses on self-compassion. What is compassion? Self-Compassion: An acceptance that you are suffering, coupled with a deep seeded authentic wish that your suffering is stopped. What flows from this mind of compassion is natural actions of self care and non-harming, combined with a joy and excitement that comes from engaging in actions that will result in your long term happiness and the removal of your suffering. Continue Reading
Loving-kindness meditation is the art of awakening the heart through intentions of goodwill and compassion, practiced for thousands of years by various Buddhist traditions. Today, modern science is now verifying it’s amazing ability for radical, positive transformation and healing. It will lead us to a deeper understanding of the causes of suffering and the causes of peace and contentment in our life. Leading us naturally to take up care and drop violence in our thoughts, speech, and actions.
So, what does all this have to do with porn addiction? Continue Reading
Sometimes we must face tremendous pain.
The pain of not knowing, of aloneness, of finality.
When we run from that pain, it looms ever larger.
And, fighting fear with fear, we doom ourselves to war.
But when we embrace that pain, it fades to nothing.
And we can move forward, unafraid and curious.
Happy Holidays everyone! :)